Andrew|20|Trans|Queer
Instagram: scumbug

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"Lie down and look up at the ceiling and breathe with those curiously fragile lungs of yours and remind yourself: Don’t worry. Don’t worry. All is as it was meant to be. It was meant to be lonely and terrifying and unfair and heaving. Don’t worry."

- The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home, Condos 

(Source: headofporridge)

"I still don’t feel too good inside, but that will improve, if not of its own accord, then for love of you."

-  Franz Kafka, from Letters To Felice 

(Source: violentwavesofemotion)

Anonymous asked - "3 people i know died this week. how do i go on?"

t0rtuous:

scumbugg:

Find help. Don’t do this alone. You aren’t alone. Talk to a professional, if you can. Talk to family. Talk to friends. Reach out. Thank you for even talking to me. I’m sorry I don’t have anything more to say.
Have any of my followers experience death in their lives and would be willing to talk about it?

  • If you’re in school make sure all of your teachers are aware what you’re going through. They will be more reasonable with homework and if you ever need to excuse yourself in class due to something triggering or whatever reason they wont freak out and make you more stressed than you most likely are already. 
  • Reaching out to your teachers in general is a pretty good idea. The staff of my highschool helped me so much throughout the remaining years in highschool dealing with my sisters death.
  • Talk about it talk about it talk about it  - it’s scary, and sad, and tragic, and excruciatingly painful - but every memory shared, every feeling said aloud will further your journey through this. It’s necessary. It’s very important. 
  • Do not expect people who aren’t professionals to be able to solve your problems though. My biggest issue was thinking “i’m always there for my friends/family, why aren’t they there for me?” or simply the advice they gave me wasn’t sufficient. It’s because not everyone handles death, loss & the greiving process the same. Some don’t even go through it until their older. So expecting them to know the best way to help you cope is not going to make you feel any better. Just bitter and you will lose relationships unnecessarily. Only the professionals can actually help you learn coping strategies - but finding a good support system is also very important. 
  • Do not allow yourself to stop doing what you usually do for too long. I understand the pain is real hard to deal with..but once I fell out of school, work, etc…it was so much harder to get back into. Keeping busy and learning to power through is a huge life lesson that if put off - it becomes much much more difficult to learn in the future. 
  • Keep your head up. Believe in yourself. Be proud of the little things you do everyday. And love yourself. :*

Anonymous asked - "3 people i know died this week. how do i go on?"

Find help. Don’t do this alone. You aren’t alone. Talk to a professional, if you can. Talk to family. Talk to friends. Reach out. Thank you for even talking to me. I’m sorry I don’t have anything more to say.
Have any of my followers experience death in their lives and would be willing to talk about it?

stfueverything:

ramsexalicious:

mrscriss2012:

This is my son, Chester, who is nearly 4. He was invited to his friend Chloe’s birthday party today, the theme was prince and princesses. He asked if he could go as Sleeping Beauty, so I bought him a dress and put a cute little clip in his hair.
We arrived at the party to the following comments from the adults present: “Oh that is just cruel.”
"Why did you make him wear a dress?"
"Poor little man, what’s your mummy playing at?"
"He’s going to hate you when he grows up."
"No way I’d let my son dress like a girl."
The fact is, Chester is almost completely gender neutral. I let him wear what he wants, be it boys or girls clothes, and he plays with whatever toys he likes. This usually involves him holding tea parties while wearing his pink Minnie Mouse top, jeans and a tiara. The guests are more often than not a mixture of Winnie The Pooh characters, dinosaurs, Barbie, Dora and solders, and they’re usually transported in his favorite fire engine.
When my husband arrived at the party later on, he was subjected to endless ridicule from the other dad’s present about how I must keep his balls in my back pocket because otherwise he would have put his foot down and not allowed Chester out like that. Oh, and by the way, our other son dressed as Ariel. When my husband pointed out that the boys were happy, and the mother of the birthday child made a point of saying how wonderful she thought it was that we allowed them freedom of choice and expression, they then stopped talking about it to our faces and started muttering about us behind our backs.
Interestingly enough, not a single child said a word about their choice of costumes, other than to compliment Chester on his new dress.

not a single child made a negative comment
not a single child made a negative comment
not a single child made a negative comment

this is important

Anonymous asked - "Imagine Me And You. Been having trouble watching it lately. I watched it last with my ex it was the only movie he could watch with me without taking my pants off even when I told him not to. It makes me feel like love is real and I don't have to hide"

Love is real. I know what you’re feeling. I’m sorry that that happened. I’m sorry that your boundaries weren’t respected. I have a lot of trouble these days with sex and with understanding that it is not the only form of worth that I have, but I have found such a good and kind partner. 

I hope you can watch it with someone good some day. I am wishing the best for you. 

siriusblackstaco:

mitunapasta:

MONOGAMY IS NOT THE ONLY WAY OF BEING FAITHFUL AND TRUSTWORTHY

DO NOT EQUATE MONOGAMY AND FAITHFULNESS DO NOT DO IT POLYAMOROUS PEOPLE CAN BE FAITHFUL TOO 

SAY IT WITH ME

POLYAMOROUS PEOPLE CAN BE FAITHFUL TOO

This is so important

silversarcasm:

commodifiedsouls:

"Cancer/mental illness/disability affects rich and poor alike."

Uh, no, it doesn’t. Rich people can afford the treatments and accommodations for those things. Poor people cannot. Get the fuck outta here with that classist shit.

Not to mention a higher proportion of disabled people are in poverty and people in manual jobs are more likely to become disabled, there is a class element to disability that cannot be ignored.

Anonymous asked - "could you tell me the last dream you remember? :)"

the last one i really remember is kind of embarrassing. i was sitting on some dumb boys lap and i just remember feeling really fuzzy all over, like every bit of me was vibrating. we were in a taxi and he was telling me about all his favorite places and that we were going to see all of them. 

Anonymous asked - "I came out to my family recently but my parents insist on calling me female and using female pronouns. I don't know what to do and its really frustrating. Do you have any advice? I also haven't decided on a name yet and I think that might be a problem. Do you have any suggestions?"

You know, it was actually a lot easier for my family and for people around me to get my pronouns right when I decided on a name. I was originally going to keep my birth name, because it’s androgynous anyways, but the amount of mispronouning that happened changed my mind pretty quick. 

Since you are already out to your family you should try getting them involved in your name change process. Sit them down and start talking about a new name. My mom was a lot happier and more comfortable with my name change because I asked for her opinion and then took what she said seriously.

Be sure to tell them how all of it makes you feel and be sure to tell them how you feel when you the right pronouns are used, let them know that there is a difference. Maybe try to come up with a way to keep them in check. Maybe a “Mispronoun” jar, every time they mess up, they owe you a quarter. I know that sounds kind of silly. But approaching things with humor sometimes can be really positive. Plus you’ll be making some cash money. 

Anonymous asked - "Would you say dhea is a good thing for pre T guys to use before injections?"

Well, read up some on it on WebMD, and it does mention that it could cause “masculine characteristics, such as facial hair or a deeper voice,” in afab people. But there are a lot of other side effects and it does mention it interfering with hormone therapy. 

I wouldn’t say it was exactly a good thing, but I understand the desire to feel more in control of your body. It could be empowering. If you can, try talking to a doctor about it first, especially if you’re on anything currently. Plenty of people try the “natural transitioning” route prior to T or instead of T, but it really isn’t the same. I tried boosting my testosterone levels with zinc and work out supplements and worked out a ton, but none of it even compares to the effect testosterone has had on my body. 

Source (note: it’s not written with trans people in mind, so be careful)

Anonymous asked - "Movies: Never Let Me Go, anything Studio Ghibli, Life As A House. Books: Impulse & Perfect by Ellen Hopkins. TV shows: Ergo Proxy - fucks you up, but makes you think far too much."

I’ll check out the movies but I am not a fan of Ellen Hopkins. I tried a few times but she just doesn’t speak to me the way she does other people.